That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the Television Letdowns of the Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From cringe-inducing sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with dreadful scripts, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to find its footing. For a moment, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the final series. It concluded on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the smallest of this drama's problems. The subject of a very rare no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure love for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London picaresques which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was akin to consuming a sales catalogue. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As contestants battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific shots and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.